Can I?

Can I?
Can I be your forever girl?
Flowers in my hair, white flowy dress walking down the aisle girl
Can I be your bare feet on the beach girl?
Dancing in the moonlight arms wrapped around each other girl
Can I be your hold you in the dark girl?
Stay with you till the pain subsides girl
Can I be the one you tell your secrets to girl?
You know they will stay safe with me girl.
Can I?

Unlucky in love

Unlucky in love
How to start this cliche love song
Boy meets girl and they both fall hard
Ensconced in their little love bubble they flourish
They thrive in their safe little pocket of the world where nothing bad gets in
But bubbles burst
And their love no longer protected by their little bubble
Begins to break under the pressure of who they really are
The arguments begin and resentment festers
Where did love go?
Was it ever really there?
Tears pour down their cheeks like a never ending rainstorm
Their love once sweet becomes bitter and toxic.

Hard to love

Hard to love
Baby thinks he’s hard to love
He never ever seems to quite win
Tired of even opening up if she’s only going to leave
Baby only ever sees one side
And that’s always his
Maybe the reason he’s hard to love is that he doesn’t let anyone in.

Not safe

Not safe
Not safe in our houses
Not safe in our beds
Not safe when we take all the precautions that they said
They tell us that these men are helpless
They simply can’t control themselves
So we have to carry all the responsibilities that they shed
The truth is that when we focus on the symptoms and not the cause
The world will never be a safe place for the women it tries to protect.

Shame

Shame
Shame was not something that I chose
But something society chose for me
It was being taught that my worth lied in the flower between my legs
That keeping it,  preserving it made me special
That I was worth nothing if I didn’t give it to a man under the covenant of marriage
It was being slut-shamed for the very thing that men were patted on the back for
It was being taught that I need to act a certain way, know certain things before I was deserving of a good man
It was the weight in my chest and the silent tears because I thought I wasn’t good enough
It was being told not to wear  skirts or dresses that were too short or tight
Because I might pass the wrong message to a man
It was the responsibility placed on my little shoulders from puberty to conduct myself appropriately
Or I would be assaulted
It was being told to wear tights underneath my jeans so that they wouldn’t have easy access
It was avoiding dark corners, moving in groups of girls and taking all the necessary precautions
Like I had anything to do with the actions of a sick and twisted mind
It was the shame and blame I placed on others when they didn’t conform
The judgment I passed on to them too
How dare you be this bold, confident and courageous in who you are
In your sexuality
While I was struggling with mine
Shame is something I refuse to feel anymore.

When he cheats

When he cheats
When he cheats on you
Don’t blame yourself
Feel like there is something else you could have done
Like maybe if my lips were shaped like so
Cheekbones more defined
His eyes would not have strayed
When he cheats don’t question yourself
Diminish your sense of self-worth
Feel like there is something wrong with you
Replay in your mind scenes where you should have seen him slipping away
When he cheats on you
Look in the mirror with your head held high
Eyes determined and heart set on healing
Place your hands on your face with the softest caress
Remind yourself what real love feels like
And don’t put up with anything less than you deserve

Bridges

Bridges
Bridges built carefully by both of us.
Each block forming its foundation lovingly laid out with laughter.
Bridges meant to connect you and I,
our bond intended to be unbreakable.
Bridges meant to last forever and ever.
A part of our never-ending roller coaster.
Bridges meant to get stronger with time
almost indestructible.
That’s how this story was supposed to go.
But the script was flipped and life never seems to go as planned.
Now we stand at opposite ends of our bridge as we stare down at the debris.
PHOTO BY: SYLVIA NWAOKOLOBA

Miss You

Miss You

I miss being a daily part of your story

when you were so close I could touch.

I miss hearing your laughter in person

and feeling like everything was right with the world.

I miss walking up hills with you,

my breathing labored and forehead shining.

I miss laying my head on your pillow

with my coat on and boots laced.

You would always make fun of me and ask me why I did that.

I know now its because I couldn’t wait to feel the comfort that could only come from you.

I wish I had known to bottle up those moments and store them for the famine .

For times where I couldn’t just walk up the hill to you.

Even though I miss everything about you

I’m so blessed to know you.