Stuck

Stuck
Tired of these dark thoughts
That wrap around and paralyse me
It seems that I’m constantly fighting a battle
I want so badly to be strong
And to be the person that overcomes
To not feel bleak or hopeless
I have absolutely no reason to be
But still this feeling of being lost and alone comes
And once again I feel stuck.

Expectations

Expectations
You want me all covered up
Skirts knee length, clothes modest, thoughts pure
You tell me ladies are to be classy, reserved and demure
I think there is something wrong me
But what you never told me
Was what I should do when I dream of mini dresses and bare feet
Dancing carefree
I love my body and all it’s arches and curves
And I love embracing it
Should I change?

I wish

I wish
I wish you would show me all of you and not just the pretty parts
This carefully constructed version of you that keeps all the bad things out
I see all the good in there but I also see the pain and hurt that you can never allow yourself to feel
You claim you are strong enough to handle it all
And maybe you are
But what if you don’t have to be
I wish you could share this load with me
But if it can’t be me I hope you find someone who you could let in
I’m sorry but I can’t only love some parts of you.

If only

If only
If only I could be what you need me to be
Could act out what your mind is thinking before you even put it in words
If only I wasn’t so absent-minded, lazy, melancholy
Maybe you wouldn’t scream so much
It used to hurt me so much the thought of never being quite enough
Always falling just short of, subpar even
But now I’m learning I might never please you and I’m okay with it

Can I?

Can I?
Can I be your forever girl?
Flowers in my hair, white flowy dress walking down the aisle girl
Can I be your bare feet on the beach girl?
Dancing in the moonlight arms wrapped around each other girl
Can I be your hold you in the dark girl?
Stay with you till the pain subsides girl
Can I be the one you tell your secrets to girl?
You know they will stay safe with me girl.
Can I?

Unlucky in love

Unlucky in love
How to start this cliche love song
Boy meets girl and they both fall hard
Ensconced in their little love bubble they flourish
They thrive in their safe little pocket of the world where nothing bad gets in
But bubbles burst
And their love no longer protected by their little bubble
Begins to break under the pressure of who they really are
The arguments begin and resentment festers
Where did love go?
Was it ever really there?
Tears pour down their cheeks like a never ending rainstorm
Their love once sweet becomes bitter and toxic.

Hard to love

Hard to love
Baby thinks he’s hard to love
He never ever seems to quite win
Tired of even opening up if she’s only going to leave
Baby only ever sees one side
And that’s always his
Maybe the reason he’s hard to love is that he doesn’t let anyone in.